You’re standing outside your friend’s apartment building, your body soaking, your phone without a percentage. You lift your handbag over your head and begin to walk. It doesn’t take long for you to slip and fall onto the pavement. You cry, but the tears are hidden amid the rain that falls onto your face. Now, more than ever, is the opportunity to reveal myself to you. I lower the car window and speak to you for the very first time.
‘Do you need some help, miss? You look hurt,’ I say.
Your head turns sharply to face me. ‘Well, you must be a genius,’ you say as you examine my appearance, ‘Do I know you?’
I think, of course you do. I’m your future lover. You just don’t know it yet.
‘Unless you recognise me from Thursday quiz nights at The Lodge, I wouldn’t think so.’
You stare at me, bewildered. You’re clearly not amused.
‘Would you like a ride home?’ I say to break the awkward tension—hoping, praying, that you’ll accept my offer.
‘Give me a good enough reason as to why I should. For all I know, you could be a murderer.’
‘Well, I—’
‘Is this how you pick up chicks?’ you interrupt. ‘Prowling the streets in search for some girl who’s in dire need of assistance?’
‘Did it work?’ I say in my final attempt at getting you into my car. I’ve been anticipating this very moment since I first laid eyes on you. Now, my future with you all depends on these three words. You’ll either tell me to get lost, and refer to me as that maniac who tried to kidnap you on the street that night, or you…laugh. You laugh. I wouldn’t consider it to be my finest moment, but it’s enough for you to take a risk and put your trust into me. You step into the car.
You drench the leather seat covers, but I’m not bothered because I finally have you close to me; close enough to touch you, to smell you. Your sweet peachy fragrance lingers inside the vehicle. This was, of course, despite your soaking body. I could only imagine this scent from outside the window of your apartment, but now it fills my nose with delight.
As we pull away from the curb, I notice how gentle you appear to be from the corner of my eyes. You’re like a priceless family heirloom or an ancient glass vase, look—but don’t touch. And your legs are smooth, as though they were manufactured and shaped like a Barbie doll. I’m resisting the temptation to meaninglessly graze my hand across your knee. Heck, I’m resisting the temptation to pull over the car and penetrate you gently and fill your body with nothing but love. But I don’t. Of course I don’t. I must be patient.
‘What’s your address?’ I ask, though I know perfectly well where you live.
‘Why do you want to know that? So you can stalk me?’
You make the environment uncomfortable again, as though you’re teasing me, playing mind games to analyse my reaction.
You chuckle before continuing, ‘I’ll just tell you where to go from here.’
We’re a few more blocks away, but there is no conversation. Instead, you sit there politely with your hands folded into your lap, providing me directions to your building: right, left, left, right, left, right.
‘So, what were your plans for tonight?’ I say to interject the monotony.
‘Well, before I was drenched in rain, I was drenched in my friend’s tears,’ you say sarcastically, as though you didn’t want to be there. ‘Every time she has something troubling her, she expects me to pick up the pieces.’
‘That must put a lot of pressure on you.’
‘You want to know something? It does. I’ve never been able to say it out loud before, but it’s exhausting.’
‘So, why do you do it then?’
‘I’m not entirely sure. Perhaps I’ve become used to it—going out of my way to help others. Now listen, are you sure you’re alright with this? I feel as though I need to repay you in some way—’
‘Tell me more,’ I interrupt. ‘How does this person make you feel?’
‘Honestly,’ you pause for a moment, your mind lost in thought, ‘I dislike her, immensely. But I keep disregarding the importance of my feelings towards her, because I’ve convinced myself that it’s wrong to think that way. I place her at the forefront of my life, but have been shown nothing in return. She doesn’t care for me. She—’
You’re wanting to speak more, but you resist and fight to keep the words back.
We approach your apartment building, but I leave the engine running. You turn and stare at me with a polite grin.
‘Thanks for the ride, mister,’ you say.
‘The pleasure was all mine.’
It was in that moment I thought, you like me, don’t you? Even if you won’t admit it to yourself, you trust me already. I gave you my undivided attention and listened to your problems. In this short car ride, I’ve managed to begin chipping away at your walls of doubt and unhappiness. No one else in your life has been able to achieve this. I’ve exposed you to the emotions you were hiding. All you could see were limitations, stops signs. You were trapped and blinded by what you feared most: the truth, the correct truth, the truth you’re meant to be feeling. Through my extensive observations of you, I’ve been able to examine your behaviour, even in your most vulnerable states. So now it becomes clear that you want me. As a matter of fact, you need me.
‘I almost forgot to ask for your name,’ you say.
‘Derek,’ I respond, lying.
‘I’m Valerie.’
‘Nice to meet you, Valerie.’
You exit the vehicle and we wave each other goodbye. I wait as you enter your apartment building before driving away. Your peachy scent continues to linger under my nose on the ride home. I’ll be back soon. No doubt about that.
Tanner is an emerging writer living and exploring in Adelaide. His work has been published in Glam Adelaide, Mind Shave, Verse Magazine and the Piping Shrike anthology series, among other places.
Website: https://tannermullercreative.com
Instagram: @tanner.muller
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tannermullercreative/
Art by Rhianna Carr. You can find more of Rhianna’s art on Facebook @RhiannaCarrART or on Instagram
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